FIND YOUR LIGHT
ERIC JENSEMA · PSYCHOTHERAPIST

MY APPROACH

Understand what protects you.
Make room for who you are.

Therapy is a place to get to know your inner world—with more compassion and greater alignment between your feelings, values, choices, and relationships.

01

THE SIMPLE IDEA

Be present with yourself. Be yourself.
Be yourself with others.

The Internal Compass Model names three connected capacities we can explore together. Any one can be a starting point; growth in one can support the others.

Internal Compass Model: three capacities that support one another Regulation, Alignment with Self, and Connection with Others are joined by two-way arrows. Integrated Self is at the center. Regulation Be present with yourself Alignment with Self Be yourself Connection with Others Be yourself with others Integrated Self
The three connected areas of the Internal Compass Model Regulation, alignment, and connection support each other and an integrated self. Regulation Alignment Connection with self with others Integrated Self

RegulationBe present with yourself.

Alignment with SelfBe yourself.

Connection with OthersBe yourself with others.

Regulation · Alignment with Self · Connection with Others

02

NINE PRACTICES

Small practices. Meaningful change.

Each area offers three ways to practice. They are invitations we adapt to your life, your culture, your circumstances, and your capacity.

Regulation

Be present with yourself.

Build capacity to meet feelings and challenges with more presence.

  1. Notice what’s happening inside.

    Your body and emotions offer information. Notice sensations, feelings, thoughts, and urges before explaining or reacting to them.

    What is happening inside me right now?

  2. Make room for what you feel.

    At a pace that feels manageable, practice meeting feelings with curiosity. You can pause, ground, or ask for support while learning to feel without shutting down or being swept away.

    What would help me stay with this feeling?

  3. Support your capacity.

    Rest, movement, nourishment, attention, routines, environment, and support affect what you can hold. Find small, sustainable ways to care for yourself.

    What helps me take care of myself?

Alignment with Self

Be yourself.

Understand your patterns and choose from what matters to you.

  1. Understand what protected you.

    Explore how patterns such as pleasing, withdrawing, controlling, or self-criticism may have helped you manage earlier experiences. Understanding creates room for a different response.

    What might this pattern be trying to protect?

  2. Know what is now.

    Separate what you feel, the story you attach to it, and the evidence in the present. A feeling is real; its meaning deserves curiosity. Past learning and current concerns can both matter.

    What belongs to now, and what might belong to then?

  3. Choose what matters.

    Clarify what matters to you—your values, needs, and longings—and take a workable step in that direction. Notice what is within your influence and what is not.

    What is mine to choose?

Connection with Others

Be yourself with others.

Make room for closeness, boundaries, and mutual support.

  1. Stay yourself in relationship.

    Practice expressing your needs and limits while respecting others. Closeness can include disagreement, boundaries, and a sense of self.

    Can I remain me while being connected to you?

  2. Move toward meaningful connection.

    Notice the connection you long for. Build relationships where care, vulnerability, play, belonging, and support can move both ways.

    What kind of connection am I longing for?

  3. Practice repair and growth.

    Communicate, listen, and take responsibility for your part. Look for repair when it is safe and mutual; recognize when distance or an ending is needed. Leave room for change.

    What is my part in moving this forward?

03

WHY WE GET STUCK

What once protected you
may now limit you.

Through relationships and life experiences, we learn ways to manage feelings, protect ourselves, and stay connected. Some remain helpful. Others keep showing up even when our circumstances change.

WE ADAPT

“This helps me get through.”

We might please, perform, withdraw, stay on alert, or hide what we feel.

PATTERNS BECOME AUTOMATIC

“I keep doing this.”

A familiar response can take over before we have space to consider what we need now.

CHOICE CAN GROW

“There may be another way.”

Understanding the pattern and building capacity can open up different responses.

ONE EVERYDAY EXAMPLE

Saying yes when you want to say no.

Maybe agreeing helped you avoid conflict or preserve closeness. Today, you notice tension before saying yes. With support, you make room for the fear, check what is actually at stake, and practice a small, honest boundary.

The aim is to understand the protection and expand your choices.

This is one useful lens. Current stress, health, environment, and real relationship difficulties also deserve attention; we explore what fits your experience.

04

HOW WE WORK WITH EXPERIENCE

Notice. Make room. Find more choice.

The Internal Compass Model’s process is an ongoing practice. We can move back and forth, pause, and return. After a choice, we notice what happens and learn from it.

The ongoing Internal Compass Model process Notice, Allow, Understand, Integrate, and Choose form a repeating cycle. After choosing, notice what happens and learn. Notice Allow Understand Integrate Choose More presence. More choice.

  1. Notice

    What is happening inside me? Recognize sensations, emotions, thoughts, and impulses.

  2. Allow

    Can I make room for this? Meet what is here with compassion, in a manageable dose.

  3. Understand

    What might it be telling me? Explore needs, context, protective patterns, and what is happening now.

  4. Integrate

    How can I make sense of this experience? Let feeling and understanding come together through reflection, expression, or support.

  5. Choose

    How do I want to respond? Take a step that fits your values, needs, and present circumstances.

A feeling is real. Its meaning takes curiosity.

We listen to emotion while exploring the story around it, earlier learning, present evidence, and what you need now. Anger might point to a boundary; fear might reflect a current concern, past learning, or both.

Making room for a feeling can happen a little at a time. Integration means gradually connecting what you feel with what you understand, so you have more flexibility in responding.

Listening for the person beneath the protection.

The spirit of our work together

05

THE WHOLE PICTURE

Become more fully yourself.

The Internal Compass Model gives us places to look. The principles offer practices. The process helps us work with what we find. Compassion shapes how we do all of it.

THE STANCE THROUGHOUT

Presence · Acceptance · Compassion · Trust

Curiosity over judgment
What shapes us

Our experiences and relationships
We learn ways to protect ourselves and maintain connection.

What can keep us stuck

Patterns that become automatic
They may narrow how we feel, choose, and relate.

How we practice

Notice · Allow · Understand · Integrate · Choose
Return, reflect, and try again with support.

Regulation Be present with yourself
Alignment Be yourself
Connection Be yourself with others

THE DIRECTION

Integrated Self

Becoming more fully yourself—in your body, choices, and relationships.

Room for a life that feels more like yours.

An integrated self can be expressed through naming a need, making a values-based choice, feeling joy more openly, or staying connected through disagreement. Over time, there can be more space for creativity, play, intimacy, meaning, and aliveness.

Developing an integrated self includes embodiment, individuation, and self-actualization: feeling more at home in yourself and living more fully from what matters. It unfolds differently for each person.

The ideas behind my approach

The Internal Compass Model is my evolving way of organizing integrative psychotherapy. It draws on somatic awareness, person-centered and existential perspectives, depth and psychodynamic work, family systems, Internal Family Systems, and cognitive behavioral approaches. Its understanding of protective patterns also resonates with attachment and developmental trauma perspectives, including NARM.

The Internal Compass Model is a framework for our work together, rather than a separately validated treatment protocol. We choose methods and supports according to your concerns and needs.

WHEN YOU’RE READY

Let’s start with a conversation.

Reach out to request a free 15-minute consultation. We can talk about what you’re looking for and whether working together may be a good fit.

CALL 608-496-9895 EMAIL ERIC
Directions to the Madison office

Madison Psychotherapy Center · 702 N. Blackhawk Ave., Suite 215 · Madison, WI 53705 · Telehealth across Wisconsin

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